NUTSHELLIN' IT

I'M BACK FROM ITALY!

I'M 30!

I'M DATING SOMEONE!

More to come later on all 3. Just thought I'd let you all know that I still live and breath!

HIATUS

This Blog is currently on HIATUS for approximately 3 months due to the fact that I am out of the country.

Have a great summer everyone!

guest blogger- Kylee- MAKE IT HAPPEN

This gal is up to some awesome stuff-- making good use of the knowledge she's taken with her on her path of singlehood! You Go Girl!


In 2006 I decided I needed a change so I joined AmeriCorps and moved to Boston. That year, my motto became: Make it Happen! This mindset has transformed my life. I don't think I'm unique in this endeavor.

In a day and age where people are paralyzed by fear, where they are not only losing their jobs but their confidence, and where people are losing hope I choose to tell a different story!

I want to collect personal essays/stories from people that have MADE things happen in their lives. This includes dreams they made come true, goals they've accomplished, trips they've taken, people they've met, and so much more.

Please send me your "Make it Happen" story!

Your personal story/essay needs to be around 2 pages (1000 words), clear, concise, and how it is you made it happen! Send your story to me: kyleeshields@gmail.com. w/a very brief bio of yourself.

I will be putting together a collection of these inspiring stories to hopefully publish in a book.

FOLLOW THE LINK TO FIND OUT MORE INFO ABOUT THIS GROUP ON FACEBOOK!
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=101911645010&ref=ts

FREE-TIME DO's

This is the first of many posts about the volunteer work that is out there.

Today's post is brought to you by:

BIG BROTHERS, BIG SISTERS



I chose to start with this program because I have personal experience with this organization.

In the winter of 2000, I became a BIG SISTER! I was assigned a 13 year old girl who came from a very poverty-stricken, single parent home. For as fun and rewarding as this experience was, it was also challenging in ways i never expected it to be and I learned a lot about myself in this year of knowing my LITTLE SISTER. But most importantly, she taught me to never take for granted the many blessings I have been given on this earth.


I highly recommend this program for anyone looking to get involved in the lives of the children in your community that may or may not have awesome support at home.

Big Brothers/Big Sisters offers 2 different ways you can volunteer:

1: Community-Based Mentoring- you will spend as little as 1 hour per week with your "little" doing anything from going on a walk to singing together at a retirement center, to making cookies.

2: School-Based Mentoring- you will meet with your "little" at a school or rec. center and not only help them with homework, but spend time getting to know each other as well.

For more information click on the link provided above or if you are in the Utah area call:

(801) 313- 0303

DON'T WAIT-- BE A BRACE-FACE!

PERSONAL STORY TIME!

When I was in high school, I, much like a lot of you, had braces. In the fall of my Senior Year, they were taken off! About 3 years later, my retainer broke, taking me back to the orthodontist. It was then that he noticed that my bite had shifted and recommended that I go back into braces for another 2 years.

{okay you're not allowed to make fun of my reaction}

"But I'm 21, what if I get married within those two years," I thought, "I don't want braces in my pictures!!"

{HEY! I told you not to laugh!}

So, off I went, as stubborn as can be, and chose not to get those braces. Fast forward 2 years, I was now working for a company that had awesome benefits and so I skipped on over to the dentist who recommended that I go and see my orthodontist.

Once again, Mr. Fix-My-Mouth recommended those darned braces. "Probably for 2 years," he said with urgency. "If you don't do this soon, some of your back molars are going to shift and it's going to take a lot longer than 2 years to fix them. Oh and by the way, you are NOT a candidate for Invisi-Line."

Despite his warning, I the nerd 20-something thought, once again:

"But I'm 23! I could get married at any time AND I'm doing film and television now, and I don't want braces to get in the way!"

So the braces didn't happen. And would you believe me if I told you, that almost 9 YEARS has passed since that first visit to the orthodontist, I still didn't get the braces, my bite is now worse than ever, the back molars have shifted markedly AND, would you believe it... I'm still not married!! GO FIGURE!! If I had gone straight into braces when the orthodontist had told me to... I would have been out of braces 7 years ago! Oh my gosh, I hang my head in shame!!

Okay, so now to the moral of the story:

Sometimes I think we, as single women, get afraid to go and do or become because, "What if I could get married?" If anything this braces story has taught me, it's that sitting around waiting didn't accomplish ANY of my hopes and desires... it didn't cause me to get married and it most certainly did not fix my bite!

Is there something that you've been wanting to do for a long time and never did because you were afraid it would get in the way of other hopes and desires?

A friend of mine from Boston, who recently got engaged, met her man AFTER she had felt prompted to move to a new state. He moved in, just as she was moving out and they didn't even meet until a party they were both at, in Utah!

She later commented "I guess it goes to show you, that it doesn't matter, where you move or when, when the right guy is supposed to be in your life, it will happen."

So here's your kick in the pants for today:

GO AND DO! DON'T WAIT! YOU WON'T REGRET IT!

Oh and by the way, when I get back from Italy, I'm getting braces!

MY TURN ON EARTH

Everyone has their own story, on the journey of being single.

Here's Mine:

The Apple Dress and Pigtails

So in essence, this is where it begins. I would have shown you a baby picture here, but when you are #6 of 8 kids... baby pictures are something you learn to deal without.

Here I am in kindergarten, all bright-eyed and ready to conquer the world in my most favorite jumper my mom made for me! (excluding the Rainbow Bright jumper, of course)

I've always had strong will and a ready opinion. It was at this age that I had a best friend named Jeffery. I pretty much bossed him around and made him play house and barbies with me every time we played together, which was often. It was also at this age that my kindergarten teacher wrote the following words on my report card:

"Peggy is a good student. I enjoy talking with her, she is quite the conversationalist."

Obviously, nothing's changed!

The HE Mullet!

I would like to submit to you today, that it should be considered a form of child abuse to cut your child's hair into a mullet, of any sort. What with that nasty cowlick practically dead-center of my forehead, my hair has been the ridicule of many a sibling when looking back on my past. Oh and take a look at those teeth! A right of passage, for everyone in my family, is to finally grow a noggin big enough to accommodate the ginormous teeth we were born with!

Needless to say, this was the beginning in the decline of my self esteem.

The Awkward Lonely Years

I state this as fact and not a means of receiving pity, I didn't really have any friends during my elementary school years. I was awkward and tom-boyish and was always trying to assert myself where others did not want it asserted. And I was a very emotional little girl (I know, I know, nothing has changed there either), and you can only pitch a fit for not getting your way, so many times, before people stop wanting to hear it.

I spent most of my Junior High years trying to sort out my need for friendship and developed better "people skills." This is also the stage where men (or rather boys) entered my life and I discarded them as quickly as they came into it. I "went" with a different boy each year of my Junior High career.

High School

By this time, I was completely involved in theater. I found confidence in my abilities and also found that relieving some of those pent-up emotions on stage was far better then off stage. Yet, I was still a teenager and caught up in the emotions of friend drama, boyfriends, dating and school dances.

By my senior year, though, I was spending a lot of time with my sister who was already in college. I much preferred hanging out with her and her college friends and sneaking into Young Single Adult dances (sorry dad), only to get that forlorn look from the dudes when they asked how old I was and I responded "17."

The Fiance

Yes, you read that right. At the age of 19 I met a guy. He was 9 years older than me, already been married and newly divorced and wasn't so "into the church." Despite the warnings of loved-ones (did I mention that I am strong-willed?), I got engaged to this man right before my 20th birthday. (Are you kidding me with those matching white button-ups and khaki pants!?! ridiculous!)

To put this mildly, this year of being with this man, did more damage to my soul and self than any other relationship I had been in before or since. I was in over my head in a relationship that was far more adult than I was ready for and when all was said and done, he left me for dead and married an ex-girlfriend, while I tried to pick up the pieces of my shattered life.


Getting Over It

During the proceeding years, I submerged myself into theater and also got an agent doing a few local television spots. It was during this time I also decided to finally take myself to college.

THE BYU was, well, not what I hoped it would be. I went from being a girl that got asked out pretty regularly to never getting asked out and wondering if I too needed to start making plates of brownies and taking them over to the guy's house that I liked, so that he would know how good I was at domestic life.

A few years later I had dropped out of school, gotten a job making more money than I could even dream about now and was officially inactive in the church. I also gained a lot of weight, virtually disappeared from the view of men, lost a lot of weight and then went searching for love outside of the church, with men that I really shouldn't have been with.

The Boston Years

July of 2003, I got laid off from my cushy job and decided, without much hesitation, that I would move to Boston (I had always wanted to live there for some reason). During this time, I also started going back to church. At the time my Bishop in Provo was terrified of me moving so far away from an area so permeated with members of my own faith... but I was determined and Boston couldn't have ended being a more perfect a place to regain my testimony.

So I packed up my car and drove to a city I knew nothing about and knew not one soul. I spent 5 glorious years there, learning about myself, learning how to heal, finding deeper faith in Christ and connecting with some of the most amazing people I will ever know. I know, I'm a lucky girl!


The 2nd Most Influential Relationship

Yes, there were other boyfriends between the fiance and this one, but I count this relationship to be a large part of my late 20's... and a very pivotal one at that.

When I met this guy, I was instantly and utterly on board. There are few people on this planet that I get as excited to talk to, banter, flirt and be witty with than this guy. I was head-over-heels in love with him and if he had asked me to marry him, there wouldn't have been one shred of doubt as to what I would have said.

We tried, with all of our might, to love each other, and for years after the break-up, I was still looking for a way it could work out. Even when other men entered my life, I was still always holding out hope, that someway, I could be with him. It has been the most heart-wrenching thing to realize that he will probably never love me the way I want him to and make the decision to move forward. This one was more painful than all the previous dudes (including the fiance), combined.


Here I Am Today

Well, life may not look a thing like I ever planned it to, but I am excited about the future. I moved back to Utah this past September, to undergo surgery and with certain divine moments of meeting amazing women, I have decided to stay. I am currently trying the online dating thing (more to come on that!) and I am getting ready to live in Italy for 3 months to teach theater. Life couldn't look more promising than if I had mapped it out myself.

I am so grateful for the ups and downs of life. I might be a complainer by nature, but when I can look back, I see how incredible it's all been and I see the amazing woman I am turning out to be and I can't help but smile and be so thankful for all of it!

ALL MY GIRLS, WE'RE IN A CIRCLE. SO CLAP YOU'RE HANDS THIS IS FOR YOU!

Hello! Welcome! You're Here!
Now What?

Well, I think maybe I will begin with why I started the blog and a brief explanation of what it is I intend to accomplish with such a forum as this.

This year, I celebrate my 3rd decade on this planet! YEP! In just a few short months, I will begin telling people that I am 30!! Yee-haw! What a time to live! What a time to celebrate being an adult and all the glorious things that go along with being an adult!

Paying Bills
Career Advancement
Not over-reacting to your brother when he calls you that confounded nickname you had when you were 7!!

-Just to name a few-

But with all of the amazing things that come when you are a single person at this ripe, old age the pressure from the culture that raised you from Mia Maids to Young Women's to Relief Society Member seems to bear down with questions like:

Why aren't you married yet???

Lady, if I could answer that question I probably wouldn't be sitting in my bed, with greasy hair, furiously typing up this mildly amusing blog-post about being single!!

In any case, I know I'm not alone. I go to church with some of the most beautiful, amazing women that walk this earth and we all sit and look at each other during munch and mingle and wonder "How in the WORLD is SHE not married yet??" But the fact of the matter is, WHO KNOWS?? The dating world is even more a mystery to me today than it was 10 years ago.

And it's not for a lack of trying my best. I date occasionally. I have opinions on the do's and don'ts of flirting, dating and men in general. I utilize said opinions whenever possible and yet, I find myself still empty handed.

The thing is ladies, we can't really control when that right guy walks through the door and will stop at nothing to be with us. But what we can control is our ATTITUDE, our SPUNK, our GUMPTION to just keep on going, growing, learning and doing.

So this blog was born. Born out of the desire to help inspire, encourage and get that little extra shot of "you're still awesome, even without a dude." In the coming blog posts I will be pontificating on my opinions about dating and life and being an amazing woman. I will be inviting guest-bloggers who have their own amazing stories to share. But most importantly, I hope this ends up being a place we can all come and recharge our energy to just keep on going... no matter who or what comes into our lives!

So give a SHOUT-OUT
Invite all your GF's
Let's get ready to RUMBLE!!