Sunday, November 1, 2009


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It was Halloween last night. I had a great time with my girlfriends. One of those moments where you look at yourself in the moment and you realize how truly blessed with amazing people your life really is. But with all of our fun and frivolity last night, I gotta be honest... I was a little grumpy. In fact, I was grumpy all day. I teach theater on Saturday's and I could even feel myself fighting off being grumpy with this class of funny teenagers whom I love!

It wasn't until I opened up about it to one of my friends that I actually pinpointed the source of my "ornery pants"... It was yet one more holiday I celebrated... SINGLE.

To my younger audience of women, I don't mean to exclude you here, but I remember those carefree days of my younger 20's when these types of thoughts never even crossed my mind, so you may or may not feel the weight of my next point but when I was getting my costume all put together I kept thinking...

"I don't want to dress up again and go to parties and flirt with dudes. I want to be at home with my husband and kids, making chili and getting the kids to settle down before we head out to trick or treat. I want to share these moments with them... my fictitious little family."

And now we are embarking on the best season of the whole year, the season where we focus on loved ones and family and laughter. I can't help but pay my respects to that small pang in my chest that calls out to the universe... PLEASE... don't let me be alone again this year.

So this week I have decided to focus all of my energies on finding hope in my future. Finding excitement in the things I am blessed to have this year. I have decided to prepare a veritable backpack full of positive energy NOW so that when Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Years hit, I am filled with the spirit of happiness and hope and joy. With or without someone special to share them with.

Ladies, I know I'm not alone out here in what feels like a wasteland of things hoped for and not seen... but you should know, I pray for you... I really do. I know it's hard and this time of year seems to bear down with a weight we must fight off. But we will do it and if you trust in our Father in Heaven, he will make this year a very merry one indeed.